Mostly Harmless

I am currently in the throes of dealing with an infestation of rice/pantry/mealy moths in my kitchen. The little assholes are mostly harmless and I try to talk myself down from the grossness of it all by reminding me that we’ve been accidentally and intentionally eating all manner of bugs since the dawn of humanity.

This kind of works, but doesn’t do much to soothe my heart as I toss out HUNDREDS of dollars worth of foodstuffs – grains and pulses and crackers and spices and more that are so handy to have around for, you know, feeding upon.

It also doesn’t do much for the rock I feel in my stomach when facing the fact that this process involves cleaning everything in my kitchen in order to ensure they don’t return.

My kitchen is not small. Nor is it underpopulated. Nor is it new. No, no, my friends. This kitchen was built in 1851-ish and has exposed pipes and nooks and crannies and peeling paint galore. Additionally, we never quite did get around to doing a massive kitchen purge after my mister and I amalgamated households. Everything was too precious, too handy to have around just in case, too easy to keep because what if?

None of it is looking very precious to me right now.

Except the dishwasher, which has been running around the clock.

Screw you peak times! We got rice moths to banish!

Marry me, mister dishwasher?

Of course my anxiety is in overdrive because of course we had an appointment scheduled to negotiate rental terms and to have an appraiser through to give us all an idea of the value of the house as landlady intends to sell it come spring.

I kinda wish I’d taken a picture of some of the infested jars and bags and things, but the gross factor at the time of the purge was just too high. Here is a picture of the wonderful bouquet of basil, parsley, and chives a neighbour brought me which cheered me up long enough to make pesto, instead of a picture of gross, little bugs:

Yeah, I’m pretty much a massive ball of anxiety at the moment, to say the least. Luckily, the house viewing/meeting was postponed. The very thought of having folks through while having to deal with all of this makes me want to vomit/pass-out/hide under a rock.

On the upside, the kitchen is getting very, very clean.

On the down side, it’s day four and I am so over of cleaning the kitchen and I ain’t done, yet.

Word to the wise: If you find that you’ve overstocked your pantry with things like flour, rice, pulses, grains, beans, and stuff like that; freeze that shit. Keeping them in very well-sealed glass (not plastic) containers will apparently do the trick, too, but I’ve yet to find a kind I can trust.

Whatever you do, don’t put them in the back of the pantry to be forgotten for months on end, like me.

Another up side: It could be far worse. It could be bed bugs or something equally nasty in 40 degree weather. I am knocking on wood like a mad, wood-knocking thing right now.

On the way up side: Probs a party at my house once this is said and done because it will be clean.


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