Them Dubious Frozen Breakfast Burgers

I spotted Pierre’s Drive Thru breakfast sandwiches in the freezer at our local grocery store a couple of years ago.

If you’re not familiar with the product, here’s what I’m bangin’ on about:

please pardon the fact that it’s on the empties counter.

My interest was piqued as I love me a good, greasy, cheap breakfast burger (I’m lookin’ at you, Timmy Ho’s and MacDo’s), but I passed them by as I wasn’t there for those and three quid a pop seemed a bit steep when Timmie’s serves mine up to me all heated and freshly toasted for $3.14.

When I did my shopping yesterday, they happened to be on sale for $3 for a pack of two. SCORE!

Today, I had one for breakfast…or whatever you call the first meal of the day eaten at 14:00 because it’s Saturday and you were up late watching Chef’s Table. Yes, I am a slovenly wench. SUE ME.

I was kind of excited because I was all “what if this is actually good? I shall have to make room in the freezer for a million clam fiddy breakfast burgers!” Also, I get off on novelty.

The instructions are to unwrap, “cook” in the microwave on high for one and a half to two minutes, then wait one minute before consuming. My microwave is, like, 30 years old, so I played it safe and heated it on high for a minute, then flipped it and gave it another 45 seconds. It seemed hot all the way through at that point, though there was that one bit that got over-nuked, in spite of my flipping it over and the rotation of the microwave because that’s what my 30 year old microwave does.

It wasn’t terrible, but the English muffin had that sort of glue-esque flavour that breads get just before they go moldy. It was also soggy on the bottom. Flipping it once again for the one minute waiting period before eating after taking it out of the nuker probably would have prevented that.

The sausage tasted surprisingly sausage-y. I guess I was expecting something with overwhelming amounts of filler, like a lot of the pre-made sausage rounds one can come by. Unfortunately, the sausage also had an off flavour, so it may have benefited from more filler.

The egg was probably the best part and that is usually my least favourite part. It was fluffly and eggy and moist. That’s a hard thing to get right. Kudos, Pierre. Kudos.

Sadly, the cheese brought very little to the sandwich beyond lube.

That breakfast burger was NOTHING like this breakfast burger:

breakfast burger

Fine. That’s an unfair comparison and I really need to get on finishing writing up the recipe for that bad boy.

Overall, I’d give it 1 and 1/2 stars out of five. If I was at freshco and starving and there weren’t Jamaican patties in the freezer right next to Pierre’s Drive Thru breakfast sandwiches, I would eat one again.


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