$40 in Mysteries

The weather has been miserable here and work has been a bit slow for the last few days and I’ve been feeling pretty unmotivated and uninspired. The wind totally got knocked out of my sails when I decided last Wednesday was a great day to get my wee balcony (read: glorified fire escape) garden going, then looked at the forecast and saw that there is to be snow over the weekend. Ugh. We’ll talk next weed, seeds.

Last night, I decided to take action against my slump and that the cure was to GTFO of the house and hit the market for some inspiration. I asked a friend, Bryan, who frequents our Saturday market if he’d be my chaperone and the date was made. Rob decided to join because churros.

Bryan is a terrible chaperone because he’s a terrific enabler. When I couldn’t find the cheese I was looking for at the market, he mentioned he’d be hitting the best damned cheese shop in all the land, Chasing the Cheese, after the market and did we want to join? Hells yes, we want to join. I found my comté, but on the way out the door, noticed the sign for grab bags.

Grab bags.

Goodie bags.

Filled with cheese.

Goodie bags filled with cheese.

In my world, that’s like Christmas + going to my best friend’s birthday allatonce. We had to go back for goodie bags of cheese.

Then, Bryan was all “well, the butcher is right around the corner and they, too, have goodie bags.”


And then I found myself buying a giant bag of mystery meat.

I didn’t even know how much it was going to cost. IDGAF because mystery meat.

Here’s my haul:

The $10 goodie bag full of cheese comprised tasty morsels of:

What a most excellent way to discover new cheeses! Next time I’m off to a potluck or some other event that requires me bringing nibblies, I’ll take along a few select cheeses and one of these baggies. DON’T ANY OF YOU STEAL MY IDEA!

My $28 (for about 8 pounds of great quality meats) bag of mystery meat comprised:

  • Stewing beef
  • Ground beef
  • Pork chops
  • Stuffed loin chops
  • Sundried tomato 1/4 chicken
  • Creamy spinach chicken sausage (so curious about these guys!)
  • Beef frankfurters

What a most excellent way to discover new meaty bits! I’m already dreaming of franks in blankets, spicy, chipped beef pide, greek meatballs and more. I shan’t be lacking inspiration any time soon and, holy hell, with the way we eat meat, we’ll be in flesh for a long time, too. Possibly flesh topped with cheese.

$40 for shits and giggles. Sure, I could have spent that for a trip to the movies or to see a live band or for a dinner out, but these $40 are gonna keep me in self-entertainment (get your minds out of the gutter, I’m just a compulsive maker, ok?) for a few weeks.

I can’t help but think of how clever this is on behalf of both of these businesses in terms of marketing (getting new products into the mouths of customers) and waste reduction, too. Good on them for it. I also appreciate that their cleverness results in putting some amazing goods into my mouth without breaking the bank as the whole “buy local” ideal can be out of reach for so many, including us on a consistent basis, but I don’t mind playing a little Russian roulette with my taste buds in the name of having these treats available and a little more accessible.

So, would you/could you/have you take the gamble on mystery food? Are there other businesses you’d like to see doing this?





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